


MJN Air Conversations

by Jenny_Starseed



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Ficlets, Multi, dialogue fics, rare pairs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-15
Updated: 2012-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-29 14:01:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/320695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenny_Starseed/pseuds/Jenny_Starseed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mixed bag collection of ficlets.  All are dialogue/conversation fics.  Bits of humour, the odd rare pair and a lot of gen fic.  These are some my earliest fics written as fills on the Cabin Pressure Prompt Meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Measures of Success

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notes: First ever bit of fanfiction written. It really was my first. I've been reading fanfiction for ten years and this was my debut as a fic writer. Comments are nice, let me know what you think. Written in late August 2011.

"Enough about my family, how about yours, Douglas?"

"Hrmm? Oh, my family? Modest background, mother and father divorced and me having to put up with a drippy younger brother. You know the sort, a stickler for details. A lot like you Martin, except...with a bigger house and all the absolute dullness of predictable middle class reliability. Just like the millions of hapless minions who take up jobs that are the epitome of mediocre stability....Accountants. *shudder* Me and you Martin, we fly the skies and see the world, fulfilling our ever insatiable wanderlust for the marvellous, living by our wits on an Airdot that is always in threat of bankruptcy. Isn't that a whole lot more fulfilling than a 9 to 5 job cooking the books for corporate billionaires? I may not have bragging rights at the Christmas family table, but I have my pride and convictions, which is more than I can say for Stanley."

"You're jealous of your brother!"

"Don't be ridiculous Martin, I have no envy for my unimaginative excuse for a brother."

"YOU DO! Oh this is precious, not quite God's gift to the world for once!"

"You're one to talk, Martin. For all your dullness, you haven't achieved half of what society considers as success as Stanley does."

"Yes, but at least I'm doing what I love...er what we love. Flying a plane, barely being paid...not at all actually...and the pleasure of Arthur's latest concoction of surprising pudding...anyways, it doesn't matter. I bet he hates his job more than we suffer in poverty...I mean, love ours!"

"That's where you're wrong, Martin. He loves accounting, the legers and the new ways you can add sums on Microsoft excel. Loves it more than the numerous obscure tax loopholes he's able to sniff out like a dog in heat. I assure you the bastard is quite happy with his numbers."

"Oh, well...then, that's alright then. I mean there are other measures of successes...not that we need another one because it's inadequate to measure ourselves with...not that we need..."

"Martin, spare me your endearing but ineffective attempts to make me feel better. I've made peace with my brother long ago. Like I said, he has no imagination for anything except for numbers and loopholes. I get my jollies every family reunion in my own Douglas Richardson style"

"Oh dear God. I don't envy the man at all."

"That is exactly the point."


	2. Martin, The Bachelor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carolyn has a publicity idea for MJN Air involving Martin. Martin is not pleased.

“Good God, Carolyn....did you really sign me up as a contestant for the Bachelorette?”

“Martin, this will be good publicity for MJN Air, god knows we need it. The charming young American chap we flew last week is auditioning young, thirty-ish men for a new American reality TV show.”

“New? Mum, the Bachelorette is in its 4th series! And it’s Brilliant. People falling in love on TV is Brilliant.”

“Arthur, since when did you watch the bachelor? Last I checked, we had no cable telly on our plane.”

“Mum has 100 channels on our telly, Andy from the fire crew said the Bachelorette is very educating for a young chap like I. Something about the birds and the beetles and ferns doing gymnastic type-things while rolling in the hay. It sounds better than the discovery channel! Though now that I think about it, there are no magic birds and beetles and ferns on the bachelorette, just a lot of men and women in very small clothes. Still, I watched all four seasons in case I caught a glimpse of magic bees, beetles and ferns and ladybugs...or is that ladykillers he was saying—“

“Anyways! Carolyn, you cannot do this to me. I am a respected captain! It might tarnish my reputation by associating with these young disreputable women.”

“First of all, there is only ONE woman you have to have to compete for, and her reputation has been vouched for, as the 8th place contestant of the Amazing Race and Survivor. I have never seen either shows, but that’s as good of a resume as any! She’s both a fit and resourceful young woman, which is what you need in a girlfriend, Martin. Second, you’re a captain in uniform, which has to have some clout. God knows I’ve fallen for enough captains in my life time, they have a certain je ne sais quoi that you lack, but hopefully the uniform and title will rub off on you. Third, you are British and Americans love British accents. You automatically sound posh and erudite to the untrained American ear. See? You already have an advantage over the competition.”

“Oh right Carolyn, I can seduce her with my magic fairy dust voice. That would work out really well.”

“Face it Martin, it will be good publicity for MJN Air. It is a win-win situation. We get coverage and free publicity, you have a chance of getting a new girlfriend, or even better...dating tips from other contestants to further help you in finding a Mrs. Crieff. I can make it worth your while...say...a week of Douglas’s pay for every week you manage to stay on the telly?”

“Oh hell...Do you have a nice suit I can borrow? One has to make a good first impression...”


	3. Dame Edna and Arthur's Tasty Girlfriends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Douglas lost a game of poker last night and now has to wear a dress. And we learn a thing or two about Arthur's Girlfriends. Martin is typically mortified.

**Douglas:** Don't say a thing.

 **Martin:** Dear god Douglas, you look quite smashing today. What's the occasion?

 **Douglas:** No occasion. I like to put on a prink frock for jollies.

 **Martin:** Is that so? Going on a date, anyone I should know?

 **Douglas:** No, no one.

 **Martin:** Seriously Douglas, why?

 **Douglas:** Take it from me, Martin, NEVER EVER play poker with the chaps from the fire hall.

 **Martin:** Poker? Don't you play that game for money?  
 **Douglas:** Normally, yes you do. Except when you play double-reverse strip poker.

 **Martin:** Double reverse strip poker?

 **Douglas:** Yes, it's like regular strip poker, except for every piece of clothing you lose, you have to put on a piece of women's clothing. The last one who folds has to dress in drag for a week.

 **Martin:** What? And you chose to dress like Dame Edna for the rest of the week.

 **Douglas:** Yes, I chose to dress like Dame Edna in a Fitton production of La Cage Aux Folles. It’s been a lifelong ambition of mine, but alas, being first officer to sir is the only thing that pays the bills. A girl has to eat you know.

 **Martin:** Couldn’t you just take off the dress when we’re in the air?

 **Douglas:** No. In case you forgot, we’re on standby for a week. Just my luck. Now excuse me, Dame Edna has to pull up her stockings and freshen her make-up...damn these heels!

*whooshes by dramatically by Arthur as Arthur walks into the portacabin*

 **Arthur:** Skip, who was that? Lovely looking woman, reminds me of one of my old girlfriends, Geraldine. One of my squishier girlfriends with brilliant legs.

 **Martin:** Oh dear God, why do I have to keep learning unsavoury things about my co-workers this week?

 **Arthur:** Unsavoury? Skip, I’ll have you know Geraldine was very savoury, she tasted like cherry cough-syrup all over.

 **Martin:** AHHH!!!! (Martin puts his head in his hands)

 **Arthur:** Now that I think of it, cherry cough syrup is more sweet than savoury. I'm mixing her up with Abigail, now she tasted like turkey with stuffing and she did this brilliant thing with her toes during sex. Now that’s savoury.

 **Martin:** OK! That’s it! I’m leaving before I have to scrub my ears out with bleach.

 **Arthur:** Skip! Where are you going! Skip? Remember, mom said the lock to the door of the private loo is broken!

 **Martin:** GAH!

 **Arthur:** Martin?! What does a Dame Edna have to do to have some privacy to fix her stockings? I see why God had invented garter belts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another early dialogue fic written for a Cabin Pressure Prompt that asked for Douglas dressed in drag.
> 
> I don't own any of the characters. They all belong to Mr. John Finnemore. Unbeta-ed and unbrit-picked.


	4. Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martin's smile is brilliant

“Martin! That's a Brilliant smile you have.”

“Excuse me, Arthur?”

“That's smile! It's fantastic! It makes your face all bright, brighter and happier than all those Christmas lights I put around the house! Only mum wouldn't be all frowny about the smile as she would be about the lights. Don't understand why, Christmas lights in July is Brilliant.”

“I don't know what you are talking about....”

“Oh, now the smile has gotten smaller, now you look a bit pinchy in the face. There's no need to be embarrassed, Skipper's smile is lovely, just like custard pie! Why should skipper be embarrassed by being BRILLIANT by having a BRILLIANT smile! Can you teach mum how to do that smile, or is that something special only to skipper?”

“I don't know if this smile can be taught...”

“Ooh! There it is again! *pause* I suppose that smile cannot be taught. You know what that means?”

“What does it mean, Arthur?”

“It means that it's even more BRILLIANT. Super happy Shappy Brilliant in fact. Wow! That's a first skipper, and I know how you like to be first in things.”

“Thank you Arthur, that is very nice of you to say.”

“No problem, skipper!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for a Cabin Pressure prompt around Martin's amazing smile.
> 
> I don't own any of the characters. They all belong to Mr. John Finnemore. Unbeta-ed and unbrit-picked.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of the characters. They all belong to Mr. John Finnemore. Unbeta-ed and unbrit-picked.


End file.
